Julia Roberts finally talks about her half-sister Nancy Motes' suicide, which she says is hard to discuss "outside the weepy huddle of my family."
Julia Roberts opens up for the first time since the death of her half sister, Nancy Motes, in a new interview published Monday, April 21. The Oscar winner tells WSJ. Magazine how the family is grappling with Motes' February suicide at age 37.
"It's hour by hour some days, but you just keep looking ahead," Roberts, 46, tells WSJ. "You don't want anything bad to happen to anyone, but there are so many tragic, painful, inexplicable things in the world."
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Roberts' half-sister Motes was found dead on Feb. 9, of an apparent drug overdose in L.A. Later, a suicide note was discovered at the scene, along with prescription and nonprescription drugs. Nancy's relationship with America's sweetheart appeared to be tense leading up to her death. In October 2013, Motes tweeted a cryptic message stating that she couldn't wait to "belong to another family." Refuting speculation over the tweet, Motes' fiance John Dilbeck released a statement on Feb. 13, that said Nancy "loved her family."
The Pretty Woman star—sister to actor Eric Roberts and aunt to Emma Roberts—adds in her new interview: "But [as with] any situation of challenge and despair, we must find a way, as a family." The Georgia native adds of Motes' death, "It's so hard to formulate a sentence about it outside the weepy huddle of my family."
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In her next role, Roberts plays a doctor in upcoming HBO film, The Normal Heart, who treats patients affected by HIV and AIDS in the early 1980s at the terrifying beginning of the global epidemic. Normal Heart director Ryan Murphy tells WSJ that working with the acclaimed actress was daunting before he got to know her. "My first couple of days I was terrified," he says. "She is part of the royalty of Hollywood. But it was like butter. She was so easy and accommodating and egoless."
On her superstardom, Roberts confesses, "I don't consider myself a celebrity, [at least not] how it is fostered in our culture today." Married to cameraman Danny Moder since 2002, she gushes about being so fortunate to enjoy motherhood and a successful career. "By the time we had kids, I had accomplished things and felt secure about that part of my life. I was so joyful moving into the family phase of my life in a sincere way," Roberts says.
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"We're just grateful for the sense we have of being like any other family down the street," she adds. "I don't question it."
The latest issue of WSJ. Magazine hits newsstands Saturday, May 3.
Julia Roberts' half-sister Nancy Motes died on Sunday in Los Angeles.
On Monday, her family confirmed to People the 37-year-old had passed away in what appears to be an overdose.
'It is with deep sadness that the family of Nancy Motes ... confirms that she was found dead in Los Angeles yesterday of an apparent drug overdose,' the statement read. 'There is no official report from the Coroner's office yet. The family is both shocked and devastated.'
She was discovered in the bathroom of her home by her fiancé John Dilbeck and pronounced dead at 2:12 p.m., a spokesman for the Los Angeles Coroner's Office told MailOnline.
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Gone too soon: Nancy Motes, pictured in August (left), died on Sunday from an apparent drug overdose; she is the half-sister of Julia Roberts (right)
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Family: Roberts with Motes and their mother Betty Lou when the star was filming 1997's My Best Friend's Wedding
She is currently undergoing an autopsy to determine cause of death. Toxicology results will likely take 6-8 weeks to get back.
Julia's rep did not return calls to MailOnline.
Julia and Nancy had the same mother, Betty Lou, but different fathers: Nancy's dad was Michael Motes and Julia's is the late Walter Grady Roberts.
In August the blonde had complained about growing up in the shadow of the Pretty Woman star, who has been working the awards circuit this year for her turn in August: Osage County with Meryl Streep.
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Back when: Julia is seen here stepping out with Nancy in 2006 on a cold day shopping in New York
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Larger: Nancy, pictured left and right prior to weight-loss surgery, said she was taunted by her family because of her weight
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So much to live for: The Glee production assistant with her fiancé John Dilbeck in 2013
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Still a smashing success: At 46, Roberts is more in demand than ever; here she leaves a talk about her Meryl Streep drama on February 4
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On top: The actress on the February cover of Vanity Fair, on stands now
The younger sibling had said she was known as Julia's 'fat little sister' and said the Oscar-winner had taunted her about her weight, leading her to undergo weight loss surgery in June 2012.
Roberts, 46, made her feel embarrassed and ashamed of her weight, according to Nancy, which peaked at 20st.
She resorted to a £20,000 gastric bypass operation last year.
'It makes me feel incredibly hurt and very sad,' Motes said. 'When you're in a family of very, very exceptionally beautiful people it's intimidating.'
Her other siblings include Eric Roberts, 57, and Lisa Roberts Gillan, 48, who are also actors.
Actress Emma Roberts is the daughter of Eric.
'I think that growing up as Pretty Woman's little sister has definitely made me try to see the person inside and not the person outside,' she added. 'A lot of my life I felt judged for my weight.'
Motes, who grew up in the US state of Georgia, was only 13 when Roberts shot to Hollywood fame as hooker Vivian Ward in Pretty Woman.
The actress, who had won a Golden Globe for playing a young bride in Steel Magnolias, received a second for Pretty Woman.
Motes, who described herself as an 'awkward' child who was bullied at school, could not compete with the success of her 'very pretty and very popular' sister.
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Thinner: Nancy Motes looked considerably thinner in August 2013 as she grabbed coffee near her home in Santa Monica
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New life: Three years ago Nancy, pictured right with Julia, moved back to Los Angeles from Georgia, after meeting her fiancé John Dilbeck. But she claimed Roberts started bullying her about her weight again days after she arrived
She said: 'When I was in high school and she was an adult, she would just let me know that I was definitely overweight. She would make it quite clear to me and in a not so nice manner.
'Julia did not want to see me go down that path [of acting] … So I just got a lot of criticism from Julia, which was very discouraging for me.'
After graduating from high school in 1995, Motes auditioned for roles in Hollywood while working as a waitress. But she could not afford to continue so returned to Georgia.
Three years ago Nancy moved back to Los Angeles, after meeting her fiancé John Dilbeck. But she claimed Roberts started taunting her about her weight again days after she arrived.
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Busy woman: Roberts has been working the awards circuit for her turn in August: Osage County, which she did here on January 18 while attending the Screen Actors Guild Awards
Another scene from the film Pretty Woman opposite Richard Gere, where she inspects a diamond studded necklace
With her weight soaring, she finally decided to have a gastric bypass fitted.
Motes said she could not afford the £20,000 fee, but rather than ask Roberts, who is worth £90million, for financial help, she took out a loan.
She had lost 7st since the operation last June and had planned on marrying in May.
However, RadarOnline reported last year that Julia planned to boycott the nuptials because she didn't like the groom and didn't want to get stuck paying for the wedding.
'Julia doesn't think much of Nancy's husband-to-be,' the website quoted an insider as saying. 'She's convinced he's sponging off Nancy, who doesn't have much money in the first place.'
At the time of her death, it was not known if she had mended her relationship with Julia.
She said last year: 'It's a work in progress, it's not going to be fixed overnight, nor do I think it's going to be fixed by me just getting skinny.'
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Niece: Emma Roberts, pictured Monday with Evan Peters, was Nancy's niece
Julia Roberts, in full Julia Fiona Roberts (born October 28, 1967, Smyrna,Georgia, U.S.), American actress whose deft performances in varied roles helped make her one of the highest-paid and most-influential actresses in the 1990s and early 2000s.
Although her parents briefly ran an actors’ workshop when she was a child, Roberts had no acting experience or formal training when she moved to New York City after high school to pursue a career in show business. Although she signed with a modeling agency upon her arrival, she failed to land any jobs. Her first film role turned up after she was recommended by her older brother, actor Eric Roberts, for a bit part as his on-screen sister in Blood Red (1989), a drama set in the late 1800s; although the film was completed in 1986, its release was delayed for several years. She next made several television appearances before securing her first leading part in Mystic Pizza (1988). Her career took off after she was cast in Steel Magnolias (1989), which featured such veteran actresses as Shirley MacLaine, Olympia Dukakis, and Sally Field. Roberts received an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actress for her heartrending portrayal of Field’s diabetic daughter. In 1990 she starred in Pretty Woman, an upbeat comedy about a romance between a prostitute and a business tycoon, played by Richard Gere. A huge hit, it made Roberts a household name and earned her a second Academy Award nomination.
Roberts continued to work steadily throughout the 1990s, starring in Flatliners (1990), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Pelican Brief (1993), Something to Talk About (1995), Mary Reilly (1996), My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997), and Stepmom (1998), for which she also served as executive producer. Her personal life at times overshadowed her professional career, however, as when her highly publicized marriage to singer Lyle Lovett abruptly ended in 1995. In 1999 Roberts starred in two popular romantic comedies, Notting Hill and Runaway Bride, the latter of which again paired her with Gere.
In 2000 Roberts launched her own production company, Shoelace Productions, and that same year she commanded $20 million for her starring role in Erin Brockovich. The film portrayed the real-life story of a law-office clerk who helped the citizens of a California town win a multimillion-dollar settlement against a utility company for health problems caused by the company’s pollution of their drinking water. For her performance, Roberts won an Academy Award for best actress. She later starred opposite Brad Pitt,George Clooney, and Matt Damon in the blockbuster comedy Ocean’s Eleven (2001) and its sequelOcean’s Twelve (2004). She also appeared in the relationship drama Closer (2004).
In 2006 Roberts supplied the voice for the spider Charlotte in the animated film adaptation of E.B. White’s beloved children’s book Charlotte’s Web. That year she made her Broadway debut in Three Days of Rain, earning mixed reviews. Roberts next appeared with Tom Hanks in Charlie Wilson’s War (2007), a film based on true events surrounding the U.S. government’s involvement in the Afghan resistance to the Soviets in the 1980s. Her subsequent movies include the family drama Fireflies in the Garden (2008); Duplicity (2009), in which she played a corporate spy; and the romantic comedyValentine’s Day (2010).
After starring in Eat Pray Love (2010), which was adapted from Elizabeth Gilbert’s best-selling memoir of the same name, Roberts, playing a community-college professor, reteamed with Hanks in Larry Crowne (2011). In Mirror Mirror (2012), a comedic version of the Snow White tale, she inhabited the role of the evil queen. She crossed swords with Meryl Streep—who played her savagely critical mother—in the family drama August: Osage County (2013), based on the play by Tracy Letts; the role earned Roberts an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress. She then assumed the role of a doctor assisting gay men during the early years of the AIDS crisis in New York City in The Normal Heart (2014), a television adaptation of Larry Kramer’s play.
Throughout her career, Roberts lent her support to numerous charitable organizations, including UNICEF and the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. In order to raise awareness for threatened species of wildlife, she narrated the documentary In the Wild: Orangutans with Julia Roberts (1998), and for Wild Horses of Mongolia (2000) she lived with Mongolian nomads for several weeks; both programs appeared on American television.
Julia Roberts’ half-sister was consumed by depression brought on by family angst when she chose to end her life in February (14), according to the suicide note she left for her fiance.
Nancy Motes, 37, passed away after taking a drug overdose and now, in a bitter handwritten note obtained by editors at MailOnline.com, she’s pointing the finger at family members.
She wrote, “My mother and siblings drove me into the deepest depression. I’ve suffered thru (sic) this disease all my life, however it has never been this bad. I burst into tears every morning (because) I woke up.”
The Los Angeles County coroner ruled Motes killed herself by taking a variety of drugs.
Her body was discovered on 9 February (14) by her fiance, John Dilbeck. Calling him her “one true love”, she wrote, “I know this will effect (sic) you the most & I can’t apologize enough. I was truly blessed & lucky to have you as my true love and best friend. I will carry you with me forever.”
Motes’ famous sister pulled out of a series of awards season appearances in February (14) after Motes died. The actress opened up about the loss in a Wall Street Journal Magazine interview, revealing she was heartbroken by the tragedy.
She said, “There aren’t words to explain what any of us have been through in these last 20 days. It’s hour by hour some days, but you just keep looking ahead.”
“You don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone, but there are so many tragic, painful, inexplicable things in the world. But (as with) any situation of challenge and despair, we must find a way, as a family. It’s so hard to formulate a sentence about it outside the weepy huddle of my family.”
The Academy Award winning actress, thankful for the life she shares out of the spotlight with her family, brings her star power to the small screen in HBO's film adaptation of 'The Normal Heart'
ENLARGE
Céline sweater, $4,750, Barneys Madison Avenue, New York, and Roberts's own ringsPHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSH OLINS FOR WSJ. MAGAZINE, STYLING BY ELIN SVAHN
By
ELISA LIPSKY-KARASZ
THE CONCEPT OF FATE comes up a lot in conversation with Julia Roberts. "I don't want to toy with the gods," she'll say. Or, "I don't want to tempt the fates." This is understandable since by any accounting she has been phenomenally lucky: a career that has lasted more than 25 years and includes a best-actress Oscar, legs that are still coltish at 46 and a marriage that has sailed past the decade mark and given her three kids. But these days, she's trying to live a life more ordinary, admittedly a difficult proposition for someone who found superstardom at 22 with 1990's Pretty Woman and to date has brought in $2.6 billion in box office receipts—almost twice the annual GDP of Belize. So tinkering is not something that Roberts is keen to do.
Nor is she eager to scrutinize the inner workings of her life, as though doing so might destroy the fine balance between being an acclaimed actress director Mike Nicholscompares to Greta Garbo and her quiet existence in Malibu, where she has lived since 2007. "We're just grateful for the sense we have of being like any other family down the street. I don't question it, frankly," says Roberts, who the morning of WSJ.'s photo shoot is settling in with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast that she offers to her tousle-haired children, 9-year-old twins Hazel and Finn and 6-year-old Henry. (She tries to instill sibling harmony as much as the next mother, handling a skirmish over toys with a quick "Guess what? We are sharing everything.")
This is the life that Roberts, in her own Garbo-esque way, is trying to protect—a relative rarity in today's Hollywood, where so many stars mine their personal lives to generate self-branded mini-industries. But that would go against another cornerstone of Roberts's philosophy: that of deep gratitude for "having found your 'people,'" as she calls the family she created with cinematographer husband Danny Moder, whom she married in 2002. So although last night she made an appearance at a party thrown by one of her agents, CAA'sKevin Huvane, and tomorrow she will walk the Academy Awards' red carpet in a custom Givenchy gown, she seems content right where she is—dressed in a sweater and jeans, newly blond hair pulled back, her delicately lined face free of makeup, with her children climbing into her lap to collect hugs.
Almost all of her acting work is shot around their schedule, even her most recent: an adaptation of The Normal Heart, a play about the early fight against AIDS, airing on HBO this month. "By the time we had kids, I had accomplished things and felt secure about that part of my life," says Roberts. "I was so joyful moving into the family phase of my life in a sincere way." When the twins arrived in 2004, she had been working for 18 years, and she'd been a marquee name since the release of her second film, 1988's Mystic Pizza. From 1997 to 2001, a Julia Roberts vehicle pretty much guaranteed an average opening weekend of $25 million, and most went on to earn well over $100 million. She had become so famous by the time she was expecting Hazel and Finn, her part in 2004's Ocean's Twelve was rewritten so that her character could pretend to be a pregnant Julia Roberts. But from then on, Roberts seems to have tried to slow things down, and after Henry was born in 2007, the family moved full time to a relatively modest, secluded house that Roberts and Moder built on a sprawling lot in Malibu.
As a result, "for a long time," she says of her children, "they weren't even aware I had a job because I was home so much.
Now they get it." Still, they have never seen the best-actress Oscar she received for 2000'sErin Brockovich, the film for which she became the first Hollywood actress to be paid $20 million. (Her Oscar ended up at her older sister Lisa's New York apartment, Roberts says, breaking into a gleeful smile. "They were doing this photo album where everyone who visited the apartment would pose with it.")
"That's what Julia has been best at, maintaining their real life," says Nichols, who has been a constant reassuring presence for Roberts since directing her in 2004's Closer. "It's the little things that tell the tale. When you visit them, there is nobody working at their house, sweeping their hall. There are toys all over, and it's just Julia and Danny and the kids. She always slips away from the center."
It's a life she's hard-pressed to give up, so she filmed The Normal Heart during the children's summer and Thanksgiving vacations, with them in tow. The project is not from the typical Julia Roberts playbook: There are no big laughs, no fairy-tale romance and certainly no big hair, which is coiled into a low bun as Roberts plays the tightly wound, wheelchair-bound Dr. Emma Brookner, a polio victim who has become an AIDS doctor. It's a small but pivotal role in an ensemble piece, an unflinching movie about the 1980s AIDS crisis in New York City, adapted by activist playwright Larry Kramer and director Ryan Murphy (the creator of Glee) from Kramer's original 1985 play. The character of Dr. Brookner—based on the real-life Dr. Linda Laubenstein, also a polio survivor and New York City physician who treated early AIDS cases—is a vociferous campaigner for AIDS research funding and a proponent of the wildly unpopular, and at the time scientifically unsupported, recommendation of abstinence.
"I selfishly wanted to see Julia do this role," Murphy admits. "There is a famous scene where her character just explodes. Julia has said her heart is directly connected to her brain, so when she has an explosion you believe it and you feel it. She is someone who has been able to harness not just anger but passion." The material is difficult and, according to Murphy, who also directed her in 2010's Eat Pray Love, calls upon Roberts to evoke the same sort of "emotional advocacy" she displayed in Erin Brockovich. Roberts deflects his theory with a grin. "Ryan just likes it when I'm yelling," she says, laughing and switching into a deep drawl. "He's like, 'I love it when Lady gets mad, cheeks get red.'"
Locating that passion is crucial for Roberts. "Part of the attraction [to a role] is to something that aligns within you to that person," she says. In fact, she had already turned down the role of Dr. Brookner twice (the film option had previously been held by Barbra Streisand) because she saw only the character's hostility and rage. But when Murphy brought this version to her, Roberts thought, "This is getting ridiculous. I need to pay attention to why this keeps coming back to me." Watching a documentary about polio provided an epiphany. "I suddenly understood who she was in terms of this scary, inexplicable plague—what originally seemed [to me] to be anger was actually her determined pursuit to be part of a solution that she wasn't part of with the first plague that she experienced. Everything fell into place for me after that. I could see these are just really scared people who won't give up on finding the answers."
Roberts prepared extensively for the role, interviewing a doctor who worked with the late Dr. Laubenstein and bringing a 1980s-era wheelchair home for practice. "It was the most actor-y I've ever been," she says. "But you don't want to be bumping into walls and doorjambs and scraping your knuckles on things. I thought being in a wheelchair would be so easy and quiet, but it was actually quite tiring."
Despite being shot mostly from the waist up, she wore a heavy orthotic shoe with a significant lift to mimic a polio survivor's leg. "It was really just for me," she says. Roberts also studied the effect a slightly paralyzed lung would have on her breathing pattern. "I think I drove Ryan crazy."
"I've never seen her work harder," says Murphy. Her efforts also earned her the respect of her co-stars, including Mark Ruffalo, who plays Ned Weeks, a writer and activist who joins forces with Dr. Brookner in the fight against AIDS. "My first couple days I was terrified—she is part of the royalty of Hollywood," he says. "But it was like butter. She was so easy and accommodating and egoless. You had this person who is the star of all their movies be an ensemble player in a humble, timid, reflective way."
"My preference would forever be ensemble," says Roberts. "It's where I started, and it's what I love. It's just fun and interesting to see what your fellow actors are coming up with. Mystic Pizza was like that, Steel Magnolias was like that. It's like being in a big family."
"Her family is a major part of what she does," adds Bradley Cooper, her co-star in 2010'sValentine's Day and the 2006 Broadway play Three Days of Rain, during which, he recalls, a dressing room was turned into a playroom for the 1½–year-old twins. "Her children are always around."THIS LATEST FILM was literally a family affair, as Moder was the director of photography. He and Roberts have collaborated on six films, starting with The Mexican in 2001, where they first met on set. "I find it nerve-wracking in the best schoolgirl kind of way, and he knows that and is a good sport," she says. "I am usually hoping he's not looking into the camera and thinking, 'What is she doing?' We have worked together a lot and whenever we get there, I think, 'Why are we doing this again?' But it's great, and it allows us to travel together."
And as several hapless paparazzi have found, she is willing to go into lioness mode to protect her cubs. "I think there is a dehumanization that goes with fame, especially in the present culture of it, which isn't the culture I started off in," she says. "There wasn't this analysis of every iota of every moment of every day," she continues. "Nobody cared about what you wore, nobody cared what haircut you had, if you had on makeup or didn't—it's become this sort of sport."
Roberts is nostalgic for the Hollywood of her early career, where having arrived meant a dinner invitation to agent Sue Mengers's house and "there seemed to be a method to it," she says. "You had your job and you got paid $1, and you got your next job and got paid $2. It made sense to me." Today, when the only surefire hits are star-packed blockbusters like The Avengers or tentpole franchises starring relatively unknown actors, it's unclear who can reliably open a movie anymore. (It's telling that both Roberts's current film and her most recent one, August: Osage County, were adapted from plays that have a more narrow, focused appeal. Meanwhile, Pretty Woman is currently being transformed into a splashy Broadway musical.) "It used to be that you could build from weekend to weekend and people talked," says Roberts, who also has a production company. "Now, if there have been two showtimes and it hasn't sold 10 bazillion tickets, you're dead in the water.
"I don't consider myself a celebrity, [at least not] how it is fostered in our culture today," she adds. "I don't know if I'm old and slow, but there seems to be a frenzy to it."
Recently that frenzy caught up to Roberts when her half-sister Nancy Motes died at 37 from a possible drug overdose in early February. Motes, who had worked on Glee as a production assistant, allegedly left a suicide note reportedly alluding to her estrangement from her family. Interviews with Motes's friends and acquaintances fed daily headlines. Meanwhile, Roberts maintained her silence, choosing to grieve privately.
When asked about her sister's death, Roberts's face tightens as she pauses and looks toward the ocean. "It's just heartbreak," she says, tearing up. "It's only been 20 days. There aren't words to explain what any of us have been through in these last 20 days. It's hour by hour some days, but you just keep looking ahead.
"You don't want anything bad to happen to anyone, but there are so many tragic, painful, inexplicable things in the world. But [as with] any situation of challenge and despair, we must find a way, as a family," she continues before straightening up in her chair. "It's so hard to formulate a sentence about it outside the weepy huddle of my family."
One of the things that surely has helped Roberts through this time is her near-daily meditation. "Meditation or chanting or any of those things can be so joyous and also very quieting," says Roberts, who has introduced the practice to her children. "We share and just say, 'This is a way I comfort myself.'"
Perhaps this too is why she has a very Zen-like calm about not having any other movies lined up after The Normal Heart, something that would have been unthinkable for Roberts a few years ago. But, she says, she's been content to "find new creative outlets at home, with my family, as I get older and work as an actress less." It's a commonplace luxury she has worked hard to attain. "As odd as it is to say," says Cooper, "I feel that she is coming into her own."
How does she feel about not having another role in the pipeline? "It's nice. We have the rest of the school year," she says, brightening at the thought. "The thing about being a parent is that as your kids get older, Fridays start to get super exciting again, and Sundays start to get melancholic. Spring break is exciting again."
Julia Roberts finally talks about her half-sister Nancy Motes' suicide, which she says is hard to discuss "outside the weepy huddle of my family."
![Hanks, Tom: Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in “Charlie Wilson’s War” [Credit: © Francois Duhamel—Participant Media, LLC]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vKTETlcMeT6Gn17yYUmUImGl6KlxdlpZ28IrGnwuiRuVwPkhnaUDPTuZMdPBg0TDg-Ps6ycNG5yh9kU9uU9_bFyFRG86z6tZE9ZvFsFZFpjoIIVhoaF7JBLgrKt2gwIXESLz65q_q-5Q=s0-d)
